its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize