Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
