Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
