i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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