i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
