I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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