I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
