Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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