I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
