I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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