Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize