The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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