yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
