Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
