I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
