Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
