You work out of a Hotel?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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