didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize