I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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