i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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