I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
