the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
