my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
