my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
