I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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