I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
