She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
