Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
