3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
