Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
