Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
