I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
