All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
