thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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