Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
