and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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