Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
