i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
