The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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