So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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