Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
