now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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