i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
