ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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