you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
They have beer where we have blood.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
