Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Slut skills are useful in every country.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
