I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Randomize
