? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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