Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
how can u be prego again
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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