and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
