Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
