just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Randomize