Your tits are I can't wait for
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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