she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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