Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
