I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
