I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
