he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
