Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
