: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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