Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
All I want is dick and wine.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
