Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
