Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
