First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
